It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
