Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
