"it" just moved
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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