You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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