And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That reminds me...we need to get swords
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
