You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
