your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize