have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize