Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
