Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
