So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
