your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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