Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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