No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
