Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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