I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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