so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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