that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
