i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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