I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
