Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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