i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
