....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
