redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
