I think i sorta joined a cult last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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