just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
