Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize