Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
