**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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