I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You are the jesus of drinking
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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