1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
