He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize