Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
