toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
