We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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