Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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