My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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