I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize