...so i touched it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
A bitchslap is in order.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
