have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
