you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's the barista slut.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
