Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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