I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
