You work out of a Hotel?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
