thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize