His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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