you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
