How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
