day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
