Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
