Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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