You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
