i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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