i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
