He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
