What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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