After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
