My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
