Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You've changed since you got that strap on
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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