Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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