This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize