so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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