She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
