Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
