garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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