I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize