I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
