my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you inspire me to be a worse person
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
