Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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