Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
