I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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