I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
