shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
