it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
