All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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