woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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