is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
