Jerry, you need to find god
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
